i have to spend christmas with my ex husband and the woman he left me for!!!! it is okay. i just stay out of her way. i have been divorced for 24 years but every year i spend with them because we meet at my oldest girls home. i just avoid her. i am polite but distant. that is what you have to do. be polite but distant. don't allow her to spoil your family get togethers. there is ususally always one person in the family that is a trouble maker. ignore her. stick with ian and your husband or go to the people you like. don't say anything bad about her. just deal with it quietly. everyone knows what she is. don't let her upset you. it really isn't worth it. live everyday to it's fullest. don't let someone interfere with your happiness.